Six Things, Volume 88

Library | Vampire | Commentary | Steps | Menu | Unflip

Thing 1 – Library

This is so nice and wholesome. The National Library of Latvia has, in its atrium, a People’s Bookshelf, which contains almost 7,000 books in 50 languages from all over the world. Anyone can donate a book. All you do is choose a book special to you, write a message or personal story on the title page, and send it to the library.

Lovely stuff.

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Thing 2 – Vampire

While we’re doing wholesome, this letter, from Nick Cave in response to a question from 13-year-old Ruben, contains excellent advice, for 13-year-olds and non-13-year-olds alike. It comes, as many good things do, from Shaun Usher’s Letters of Note.

“A little smart vampire full of raging love, amazed by the world – that will be you, my young friend, the earth shaking at your feet.”

Thing 3 – Commentary

I had reason, earlier this week, to ponder the undervalued craft of television sports commentary. The trigger for this bout of contemplation was John sodding Virgo needn’t concern us.

The role of a sports commentator on TV, as I always understood it, was to educate, inform and entertain the viewer, while – and this is the crucial bit – only saying something when it adds to what they can already see. While there are still some exceptionally good exponents of the craft, the erosion of these fundamental precepts over the last forty years has been slow and steady, and nowadays the norm is bantz with a tendency towards drivel. (I realise this makes me sound like a grumpy old fart, but I’m powerless to resist. Grumpiness is one of the strongest and most irresistible forces known to humankind – if only we could find a way to harness its energy for good.)

Another core principle of sports commentary is impartiality. No matter how strong your allegiance towards one side or the other, it must never be reflected in what you say.

Sometimes, though, a disruptor throws such principles out of the window, with stunning effect. Mick Morgan was one such commentator. In the interests of balance I should point out that he was commentating for Castleford’s own club TV channel, circumstances in which the impartiality principle naturally carries less weight. Even so, this glorious minute and a half remains unrivalled. I shared it back in Volume Eight of Six Things, but on the grounds that there may remain people on the planet who haven’t seen it, I make no apology for sharing it again.

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Thing 4 – Steps

I include this partly because I find it interesting, partly because I think a lot of you will find it interesting (no matter what your level of musical knowledge), but also – and I’m really not proud of myself – because I know it will annoy at least one specific jazz-hating Six Things reader.

I am an evil person.

Explaining music with words is hard. Sometimes it’s best to let the music speak for itself, allowing it to inspire whatever reaction it inspires in the listener, be it emotional, intellectual, visceral or otherwise.

But sometimes people benefit from having things explained to them in a way that neither oversimplifies nor bewilders with complexity, and they might just come out of the experience enlightened and edified.

So here is a terrific breakdown of exactly why John Coltrane’s Giant Steps is both groundbreaking and very very hard to play.

If you need context, here’s the original recording.

“Hey, what key are we in?”

“Yes”.

Thing 5 – Menu

Have you recently bought a bar in Brooklyn? Are you struggling to come up with menu ideas to satisfy your achingly hip clientele?

You need the Brooklyn bar menu generator.

Once you’ve settled on your ideal menu, all you need to do is work out exactly how to cook dishes like ‘Activated Anchovy and Distressed Acorn (12)’, ‘Hand-pulled bluefish croquettes and fingerling sungold (17)’, or ‘Invigorated artichoke (22)’.

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Thing 6 – Unflip

This game presented without comment.

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Thing 6.5

An extra half-thing this week, in the form of a remarkable albatross. It’s only a half-thing because I’ve featured her before, in Volumes Three and Forty-eight, and long-term Six-Thingers would probably roll their eyes into the back of their sockets at my trying to pass her off as a new Thing. Besides, I’m not sure I have anything more to add to what I’ve already written, except to say that Wisdom has returned to Midway Atoll and is all set to breed again, the momentous nature of this news encapsulated in the extraordinary fact that Wisdom is now at least 74 years old.