Six Things, Volume 145

Winter Sport | Kevin | Johanna | Sand | Scale | Yearly

Thing 1 – Winter Sport

The Winter Olympics are upon us, and I’m an expert on curling again. Its soothing rhythms make it ideal viewing for those of us who, when asked to describe themselves, might habitually use the words “risk-averse”, “lily-livered” and “coward”. Watching the curling from the depths of my sofa, I’m lulled into thinking that I might enjoy trying my hand at it, that – given regular practice – I might even get quite good.

Then I remember that it’s played on sheet ice, and that a core skill, fundamental to any level of expertise, is the deceptively hard art of not falling over.

So, as always, nope.

(I wrote briefly about my aversion to ice, with a handy explanatory equation, in Volume 87)

At least all the other winter sports have the decency to be upfront about how terrifyingly dangerous they are.

All of which is summed up nicely in these posts:

So if the traditional icy misery activities are beyond my admittedly paltry capabilities, might there be other winter pursuits suitable for me?

Well, snow kayaking’s out, for a start – if anything even more terrifying than downhill skiing. I mean, you’re stuck in that thing. No way out, unless you count crashing into a tree and being flung senseless from your splintered kayak.

Same goes, frankly, for equestrian skijoring. Horses are lovely, horses are beautiful, horses are absolutely not something I want to be dragged on snow behind.

Downhill ice cross?

Three words to chill the blood.

If ‘creative snow-angels’ ever becomes an Olympic sport, count me in. Until then, I’ll leave it to hardier souls.

All the above, and several more, are detailed in this Atlas Obscura article on weird winter sports.

And as a little bonus, here is a song about curling by Olivia Rafferty (she’s writing and performing a song a day throughout the Olympics).

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Thing 2 – Kevin

Sticking with winter sports, I hesitate to mock the participants in this excerpt from On The Piste, a 1987 documentary about British people learning to ski – there but for the grace of God etc.

But it contains a scene of pure joy, a minute of the purest combination of unscripted physical comedy and film-making – unwritable, unrepeatable, perfect.

(The full documentary is on YouTube in six parts – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.)

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Thing 3 – Johanna

A third chilly thing – a beautiful short film that pulls off the neat trick of simultaneously delivering untold awe and the screaming heebie-jeebies.

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Thing 4 – Sand

If, like me, you need a bit of non-freezing calm at this stage, something to remind you that warmth exists, this might fit the bill.

Rake that sand. Rake it. Rake. Rake. Rake. See the pretty patterns.

A second tab gives you the opportunity to clean up slime before the slime takes over the world. This is, frankly, less restful, and recalls the horror of the Green Death episodes of Dr. Who.

The third tab invites you to dig through layers of earth to uncover a daily zen quote. Pleasing enough, but for me it’s all about the sand.

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Thing 5 – Scale

A nice little tool, this, for anyone interested in how big countries are compared to bodies in our solar system. Above: Armenia on Pluto. And here’s Thailand on the Moon.

It’s related, of course, to two things previously featured in this space: True Size of Countries and True Size of Greater London.

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Thing 6 – Yearly

There are quite a few games out there to test your knowledge of historical events. This is a nice one. It picks events from that day in history, and gives you a range to choose from.