Six Things, Volume 120

Dangerous Roads | Bayeux | Balls | Apollo | Tintin Birds | Wordlink

Thing 1 – Dangerous Roads

There are many reasons to enjoy the Tour de France, even if you have no interest in cycling. There’s the French countryside whizzing past in the background, overhead shots of small châteaux, soaring birds of prey, waving locals standing next to carefully tended field art.

Once in the mountains, we look to the road itself for artwork, usually in the form of the names of favourite riders daubed in white paint by their fans. But sometimes those fans turn their talents to more creative images in the hope of slipping one past the TV directors and bringing their work to a larger audience. Imagine my delight on discovering that there are people employed to drive the route beforehand and alter these images so they don’t offend an impressionable daytime audience. So, if you’ve ever wanted to know how to turn a cock-and-balls into an owl, you’ll want to watch this two-minute film.

The mountains themselves are of course spectacular, and at some point – usually on a descent – I inevitably remember my mum’s words, etched into my mind from an early age.

“DON’T GO NEAR THE EDGE”

I actually said it out loud yesterday, as Lenny Martinez, careering down the Col du Tourmalet at 75 kmh on a wet road in the fog, nearly found himself on the wrong side of the barrier.

These images always trigger memories of childhood holidays in France, my father negotiating sometimes treacherous mountain roads with calmness and skill as we made our way to that perfect little restaurant perched above a ravine. And these memories in turn sparked a brief meander around the entirely pleasing website, Dangerous Roads.

Top of the pile, for its ‘abandoned romantic’ vibe, is Les Grands Goulets (“the forbidden road of the French Alps”)

Also eye-catching are the Road With 99 Turns and the Needle’s Eye. Or, most famously from the film The Italian Job, the Nivolet Pass.

There are plenty more from all over the world – dangerous roads to suit all tastes.

Drive safely, everyone.

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Thing 2 – Bayeux

The Bayeux tapestry has been in the news recently, and there’s been a fair amount of attendant brouhaha, not least the inevitable discussion about whether it is in fact a tapestry (as so often, Betteridge’s Law of Headlines applies).

You can explore the tapestry/embroidery in great detail on the Bayeux Museum website.

And if you want to make your own depiction of a historic tale (or just piss around recreating song lyrics), you can do so here.

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Thing 3 – Balls

Cricket balls have also been in the news recently (well, the sports news, at least). They’re too soft! They’re badly made! STOP HITTING THEM SO HARD!

This delightful short film from 1956 features a man (his name, we learn, is Charlie Tingley) apparently making professional-grade cricket balls in his kitchen. As so often with Pathé newsreels, the music is part of the charm.

This film is more recent, from 2015, and while it’s obviously an advert for Duke’s cricket balls (the company at the heart of the earnest ball-related discussion), it’s also a fascinating insight into the world of Making Things Well, to which I will always give a few minutes of my attention.

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Thing 4 – Apollo

Fifty-six years ago. I was four years old and remember nothing about it.

Fortunately there exists this amazing thing: a website devoted to an interactive real-time Apollo 11 experience. You can follow it from the very beginning or pick out the key moments. Extraordinary stuff.

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Thing 5 – Tintin Birds

The early days of the pandemic spawned many crazy projects that would otherwise never have seen the light of day. One of my favourites was by Kit Jewitt – friend of the birds, host of the Golden Grenades podcast and all-round good chap. It’s a two-part survey of all the birds featured in the 24 Tintin books. Like so many great things, it’s utterly pointless but made with love and care. (The link above will take you to part one. Part two is here.)

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Thing 6 – Wordlink

Wordlink is a fun, undemanding game. Drag the words around to rearrange them – the goal is to form a chain of two-word phrases. There’s an extensive archive to work through, too.